I can interact with people online more, and express myself more freely as opposed to using sketchbooks. If I raise enough money to get the tablet, I can finally be able to start commissions to move out of my abusive house and get the help I need. it has stumbled my progression as an artist.

My family goes through them and my journals regularly, looking for material to use against me. I know that I could draw in sketchbooks, but for me it’s not the same. Anytime I would see a councilor in grade school they would always recommend therapy or meds, but I had to explain why I couldn’t talk about it: my family’s gaslighting and denial of it all. They mock my depression and deny it even exists, though it is very, very apparent that it is a real illness that effects me and and my life. Drawing is my therapy, since my family refuses to let me see a therapist. I’m starting to get suicidal thoughts again, and more irritable, and more miserable. Drawing is the only thing keeping me going. I hate to ask, I really do because I know there are more troubling issues, but no one in my family is helping me and I am desperate to create. I also live in a psychologically and emotionally manipulative/abusive household. It has been very difficult to find a second job, and I know it will be even more difficult if I quit my current job. My coworkers aren’t making it any easier.

I tried and tried to get more hours but they’re just brushing it off. I have a job, but they are underpaying me and my schedule is usually only one or two day work weeks, each day is only a three hour shift. That is because my iPad is broken and I can’t afford to get a new one. Hi, so some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting any art for a few months now.

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